I don't remember ever having a worse day than today. It was way worse than eating Fish Salad.
This morning, Pepper was admitted to the hospital with type 1 diabetes.
He has been extremely tired for the last week or so, and he would randomly throw up. Last night, after eating Valentine's cake, he was really dragging and put himself to bed around 8:30. By 10:00, he had been up twice to use the bathroom and it set off an alarm in my head. So, I grabbed my meter and took his blood sugar. It simply read "above 600" - apparently 600 is as high as my meter will measure (I'd never had a reading so high, so I didn't know there was a limit).
Well, I panicked a little. First, I told Brad and we freaked out together in our bedroom. Then, I grabbed a syringe and my insulin and gave Pepper a small dose of insulin (probably not the best idea, but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly). When we checked his blood again an hour later, it was still above 600. I was slightly more level-headed by now, so we decided to calm down and get him to the doctor first thing the next morning.
When we saw the pediatrician this morning, she sent us directly to the hospital. She told us that this is the best pediatric diabetes center in Berlin and that we would be well taken care of. The idea of taking my child to a German hospital scared the bejeezus out of me, but I girded up my loins and we arrived at Westend Hospital where Pepper was admitted and he was assigned a shared room in the pediatric ward.
There was no way I could leave my boy alone there, so we made arrangements for me to stay with him. Personally, I would have given my right arm to get away from that scary hospital and bury myself at home in my bed, and I know Pepper was at least as nervous as I was. Plus, he needed blood drawn and all kinds of scary stuff, which wasn't made any easier by us not understanding the hospital personnel when they tried to explain what was happening.
By the time evening rolled around and I was tucked into my cot next to Pepper's hospital bed, I was so keyed up that I just wanted to vomit. But I knew that wouldn't help my or Pepper's morale. So, instead I just lay there and cried, trying to keep quiet so I didn't disturb our two-year old German roommate and his mother, who totally intimidated me. It was not my finest moment.
5 comments:
So happy that you knew what to do. You are a super mom! It's so hard when you have to put on a brave face for the children. It's horrible that you had to go through this in a foreign country. Only a few more months....
Tears in my eyes, I can't imagine what you have been going through especially in a foreign country. How scary for all of you and the hospital does look like hogwarts. I am so glad you are home and Pepper is so lucky to have you. You are going to be a great with helping him control his diabetes. Sorry that you are going through this! Love you Jill<3
Jill, All my emotion from Emily's diagnosis day came rushing back when I read your post. I know how you are feeling. I was lucky enough to be able to leave the hospital for an hour and cry myself out. I never had to let Emily see me upset. It is something you will never forget. It must have sucked having to be in a foreign hospital. You know what is best for him and together you can tackle this. He will be learning from his amazing mom. You CAN do this!
Wow, just wow. It brought back memories of when Jason was in the hospital at 6 months for infantile spasms. It was terrifying enough without the whole language-barrier-hogwarts-castle-hospital aspect of it! You're a brick, and I hope you get some time now to breathe and unwind.
Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. That is amazing that you were able to catch things, but I guess you've had some experience with this type of thing. I hope life gets easier soon! Pepper will be in our prayers.
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