A Tortoise on the Autobahn

Yesterday, I spent the day driving home to Berlin from Zurich, Switzerland.  We had to leave Brad in Zurich to work, so it was just me and the kids - in other words, just ME driving.  I was not looking forward to the drive, but after our marathon drive this summer when I drove the kids from Michigan to Utah (3 full days of driving), I thought a few hours from Zurich to Berlin would be do-able.

When we got into the car around noon, I plugged our address into Daphne (Daphne is the name we have given the British-English speaking navigation system in our car), and she said we would arrive home around 7:30 p.m.  That sounded like a decent time to get home- not too late. 

And so, we were off.  The first couple of hours were uneventful.  We left Zurich and spent most of that time driving through a beautiful, sunny, autumn-hued Switzerland country side.  I think my kids got tired of me saying "Oh, look at that!  Isn't that beautiful?!" over and over again as we drove over bridges that crossed big gullies of colorful trees or lovely blue rivers of water.  We didn't even have to stop at the German/Swiss border, so it was pretty smooth sailing.

Then we hit the unlimited speed zones on the German Autobahn.  "Autobahn" is just the name for "highway" in German, so it is any and all highways.  The kicker is that in rural areas, there is no speed limit.  Since I had to drive almost the length of Germany to get to Berlin, I spent most of my time yesterday in the limitless speed areas.

I must say, it scared me to death.  Most of the roads had just two lanes for each direction of traffic.  Before we left, Brad's advice to me was, "Stay out of the left lane," so I kept my slow little self in the right lane almost exclusively, which meant I kept getting stuck behind slow-moving trucks.  When I did get the courage to pass a truck, I would wait to make sure there were absolutely NO cars in my rear-view mirror coming up the left lane.  Then, I would hold my breath, give the car some gas, and venture over into the left lane to pass the truck.  I kept steady pressure on the gas pedal the whole time I was passing, so I was going pretty fast - faster than I was comfortable.  Amazingly, I would get about halfway the length of the truck, and a car would magically appear in my rear view mirror, obviously wanting me Out Of The Way.  So, I'd speed up even more, and get back over to the right lane with inches to spare in front of the passed truck.  Then I'd exhale and hope I didn't have to pass anyone again for a while.

Now, let me tell you that I wasn't even going that slow.  I tried to keep my speedometor at around 120 km/hr, which is about 75 mph.  I think that is a pretty decent speed!  But as I was clipping along at 120 km/hr, cars would pass me at breathtaking speeds.  I could FEEL them coming on my left side, and as they passed me, my car would shudder with the wind.  As I watched them disappear in front of me, my mind would imagine the impact that could have happened if I had been just 12 inches too far over to the left.  It made me want to throw up!

So, my nice relaxing drive through the German countryside was anything but!  I spent nearly the whole day with my back ramrod straight, both hands gripping the steering wheel with all my might, and eyes frantically moving from rearview mirror to road.  I only dared sneak a sip of my Diet Pepsi when there were absolutely no cars to be seen anywhere on the road.

The worst part was that as the day wore on, Daphne kept adding time to our estimated time of arrival.  Apparently, when she said the drive would take 7 1/2 hours, she assumed I would be driving at the same insane speeds as the other cars on the Autobahn.  Because I was "only" driving 120 km/hr, it ended up taking us 9 hours to get home.  It was like a slap in the face everytime I looked over at the navigation screen and saw another 15 minutes added to our estimated arrival time.

To add to the fun, I had the peanut gallery in the back seat nagging me to drive faster.  The kids could see our drive time getting longer and all the cars flying past us, so they kept telling me "Go faster Mom!  Everyone is passing you!"   Adam was the most diplomatic - he could see I was a nervous wreck, so he'd soothingly suggest I try going just one km/hr more.  My only answer was "I'm going as fast as I feel comfortable - lay off!"

Well, finally at 9:09 p.m., after nine hours of driving, and two 15 minute bathroom stops, we pulled into our little driveway.  I could have kissed Daphne when she announced in her little British accent, "You have reached your destination." 

How does that fable go?  You know, the one about the Tortoise and the Hare?  Something like "Slow and steady wins the race"?  Well, I don't think I won any races, but I did make it home with my children and car intact. 

I may have an ulcer, though.